


Go Ahead, Block Me

by casstayinmyass



Category: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Cell Phones, Chatting & Messaging, Eddie Is So Done, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Group chat, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Rivalry, Secret Relationship, Sexting, Sexual Humor, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-07-25 02:14:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 4,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16187972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: Give them a chat, Joe said. It'll be fun, Joe said.When a chat is created for the Dogs to communicate ONLY about the jobs they pull, they use the chat for literally everything else.





	1. Chapter 1

**Joe:** Afternoon, ramblers.   
  
 **WhiteSmile:** You know you can change your name to something else on here right?  
  
 **Joe:** Good to know.   
  
 **Joe** changed his name to **DontFuckWithJoe.**  
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** Better?   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Lmao  
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** Who in the hell's that?   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Orange.   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** What the fuck is a cheeto   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** If you don't know by now your soul is already lost   
  
 **NiceGuy69** has logged on.   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** *collective groan*   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Alright. I'm gonna be daddy's little spy in here, to make sure you fuckers aren't planning to rouge on us over group chat.   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** That's right. Signing off.   
  
 **WhiteSmile:** You don't gotta say that Joe   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** I can say whatever the hell I god damn wanna say. Signing off.   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe** has logged off.   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Is he gone?   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Yea  
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Shit, good. Alright I don't give a fuck what you say in here, let's just get one rule straight. Blondie?   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Don't insult his gold chains behind his back   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** That's right   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** I learned that the hard way  
  
 **MrShit:** Idk. They're a little ratchet tbh  
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Get out while you can you slimy fuck, I've got hitmen approaching your house   
  
 **MrShit:** I technically didn't do that behind your back, it said "read 2:47 PM"   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Lol, you're cruisin for a bruisin Brown   
  
 **MrShit:** Hey you stole that from Grease   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Vote to block Brown from the group?   
  
 **WhiteSmile:** Aye   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** aye  
  
 **CheetoFingers** : ayeet  
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Ditto   
  
 **MrShit:** Dammit. alone again 


	2. Chapter 2

**CheetoFingers:** Halloween is coming up!   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Woo fucking hoo.   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** I'm gonna be a superhero. I might be Reid Richards (Elastic Man), so I can just use body paint and literally wear nothing else   
  
 **WhiteSmile:** What a great idea.   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Please tell me why we should care about Halloween?   
  
 **WhiteSmile:** I care.   
  
 **PinkPanther:** You care because Orange is dressing up in the sluttiest costume imaginable   
  
 **WhiteSmile:** That's not why   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** :( it's not?   
  
 **WhiteSmile:** Dammit   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** I agree with Pinkie, why should we celebrate a dumb holiday meant for ankle biters?   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** To get laid by women in sexy nurse costumes asshole haha   
  
 **MrShit:** True dat   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Ok why is Brown still here   
  
 **MrShit:** I figured I'd be that guy who lurks and doesn't respond for as long as possible for a change, so you wouldn't get mad and kick me out again.   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** You're smarter than you look. 


	3. Chapter 3

_**Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367** has logged on. _  
  
**Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367:** Hello?   
  
**Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367:** Hello?   
  
**Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367:** Where am I?   
  
_**Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367** has logged off. _


	4. Chapter 4

**PinkPanther** : This is an official intervention. We cannot go on in this group chat while Mr. White's name is still "WhiteSmile"   
  
**ToothpickVic** : Why not   
  
**PinkPanther** : It's a terrible name. It assaults my eyes every time I log into this god forsaken social wormhole   
  
**MrShit** : And you guys tell me I'm dramatic   
  
**ToothpickVic** : Okay. I vote he changes his name to "TightyWhitey"   
  
**ToothpickVic** : or "LittleDoggie"   
  
_**WhiteSmile** has logged on. _  
  
**WhiteSmile** : Don't start with me Blonde   
  
**ToothpickVic** : You gonna bark all day little doggie?   
  
**WhiteSmile** : Don't   
  
**ToothpickVic** : Or are you gonna bite?  
  
_**WhiteSmile** has logged off._  
  
_**ToothpickVic** has logged off. _  
  
_**CheetoFingers** has logged on. _  
  
**CheetoFingers** : Hey did you guys hear a gunshot?   
  
_**WhiteSmile** has logged on._  
  
_**ToothpickVic** has logged on. _  
  
**NiceGuy69** : Oh good, you haven't killed each other.   
  
**WhiteSmile** : I almost killed that sick smug son of a bitch   
  
**ToothpickVic** : Lol   
  
**WhiteSmile** : Don't you lol me, I came this close buddy   
  
**CheetoFingers** : Shit   
  
**CheetoFingers** : Larry, you've gotta change your name man   
  
**PinkPanther** : Right??  
  
**WhiteSmile** : Fine you pests, to what?   
  
**PinkPanther** : Something respectable. I mean come on guys, we're fuckin professionals here 

 **ToothpickVic:** Ok PinkPanther   
  
**CheetoFingers** : make it DaddyWhiteXXX   
  
**PinkPanther** : no   
  
**MrShit** : Go on   
  
**WhiteSmile** : How about "LarryBeary" :)   
  
**CheetoFingers** : Okay good, then I'll be TwinkyFreddy <3   
  
**NiceGuy69** : Please for my sanity's sake, please tell me you mean the sponge cake   
  
_**CheetoFingers** changed his name to **FreddyIsASexMachineAndHasAHugeDong**_  
  
**MrShit:** That would be spelled "twinkie" if it were the food Eddie   
  
**NiceGuy69:** Fuck you and your freakish jeopardy-like fluke knowledge   
  
_**FreddyIsASexMachineAndHasAHugeDong** changed his name to **CheetoFingers.**_  
  
**CheetoFingers:** That last idea was too long   
  
**PinkPanther:** WHITE, JUST MAKE IT "LARRY" FOR FUCK'S SAKE   
  
**PinkPanther:** Actually don't   
  
**PinkPanther:** Shit, we're not supposed to know each other's names! Now I know White, Orange, and Blonde's!   
  
**ToothpickVic:** I'm the exception. I should be the only one allowed to have my real name in my screen name   
  
**WhiteSmile** : Why?!   
  
**ToothpickVic** : Is anyone gonna stop me?   
  
**ToothpickVic** : Plus, you don't know if it's for Victor, or if my full screen name is "Toothpick Victim"   
  
**CheetoFingers** : Like the victim of a toothpick stabbing?   
  
**NiceGuy69** : Hey Victor, you wanna make the bed next time you stay over at mine?! Your briefs are on my pillow!   
  
**MrShit** : um   
  
**CheetoFingers** : Hello   
  
**NiceGuy69** : Oh fuck me   
  
**CheetoFingers** : Apparently, Victor did.   
  
**NiceGuy69** : That was supposed to go to our private chat   
  
**NiceGuy69** : Nobody tell daddy   
  
**PinkPanther** : Which one?   
  
**CheetoFingers** : HAHA NICE ONE PINK FIST BUMP   
  
**PinkPanther** : Less enthusiastic fist bump   
  
**ToothpickVic** : Any of you motherfuckers squeal on us, you have my razor to answer to   
  
_**WhiteSmile** has changed his name to **FinallySomeoneIsGayerThanMe**. _


	5. Chapter 5

**FinallySomeoneIsGayerThanMe** has changed his name to **LarrysGotTheD.**  
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Get it? I'm referring to my big dick   
  
 **MrShit:** What did I tell you all? Everything in life boils down to big dicks   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** ...and my last name is also Dimmick, so it's perfect   
  
 **PinkPanther:** God fucking dammit   
  
 **PinkPanther:** You just told us your FULL NAME   
  
 **PinkPanther:** After what Joe said!!!   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Yeah watch out Larry   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** don't give out your name or personal information, there could be predators online   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Like me 


	6. Chapter 6

**PinkPanther:** Would somebody tell me where the fuck my soda went?   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Up your ass   
  
**PinkPanther:** hey fuck you White, I'll block you   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Go ahead, block me you little piece of shit   
  
**PinkPanther:** You wanna fuck with me? I'll show you who you're fucking with   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Do it, I dare you. See what Joe says when his favourite gets blocked from the group chat   
  
**MrShit:** Um actually I think I'm his favorite   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Ha   
  
**ToothpickVic:** You kids shouldn't message so rough. Somebody's gonna start crying   
  
**PinkPanther:** White is a dick   
  
**CheetoFingers:** White HAS a dick, and it's magnificent   
  
**PinkPanther:** Where did you come from??   
  
**ToothpickVic:** It was me you infants, I took the soda cause I was thirsty   
  
**ToothpickVic** has been blocked by **PinkPanther.**    
  
**ToothpickVic** has been unblocked by **NiceGuy69.**    
  
**PinkPanther:** Saved by the side ho   
  
**NiceGuy69:** I ain't a side ho, I got so many side hoes, Vic's MY side ho  
  
**ToothpickVic:** What was that Eddie   
  
**NiceGuy69:** Nothing Victor   
  
**NiceGuy69:** Anyway, none of you motherfuckers get to block ANYBODY from this chat without mine or daddy's approval   
  
**NiceGuy69:** This is a professional group chat   
  
**CheetoFingers:** When Pink says he don't tip   
  
**CheetoFingers** has sent a photo to Reservoir Dogs:  _"whiteguyblinking.jpg"_  
  
**MrShit:** Lol quality meme   
  
**NiceGuy69:** I hate my life.   
  
**MrShit:** same 


	7. Chapter 7

**Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367** has logged on.   
  
 **Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367:** BRENDA IT'S ME YOUR GRSNDPA  
  
 **Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367:** oops. Hi Brenda, I've been out of jail for a total of 5 years now and it feels great. Say hi to Bubba for me. I would love to come for your graduation but work is very busy. Big job coming up. End paragraph. END PARAGRAPH. This fucking voice dictation shit can suck my dick 


	8. Chapter 8

**MrShit:** So I was listening to KBilly's the other day and I heard this one song 

 **PinkPanther:** Brown it's 2 in the fucking morning 

 **MrShit:** So, you're up

 **PinkPanther:** I'm an insomniac, asshole, doesn't mean I wanna hear from you  
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Why the fuck is my phone lighting up at 2 AM you little shitheads 

 **LarrysGotTheD:** Unless it's you Freddy, in which case feel free 

 **MrShit:** Hi Larry.

 **LarrysGotTheD:** Oh

 **MrShit:** Good, now that you're all here

 **MrShit:** Hotel California. How it's a metaphor for the music business.   
  
**NiceGuy69:** Actually, it's a metaphor for drug addiction.   
  
**CheetoFingers:** Actually, it's just a creepy song about a fucked up hotel   
  
**MrShit:** Nah man, that's so surface level   
  
**MrShit:** Anyway, what the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah   
  
**MrShit:** listening to it got me thinking.  
  
**PinkPanther:** Oh no.   
  
**MrShit:** about conspiracy theories.   
  
**NiceGuy69:** That's new  
  
**ToothpickVic:** What, you don't believe we landed on the moon or some shit?   
  
**MrShit:** Let me tell you what I believe. Here are all of my opinions   
  
**LarrysGotTheD** has logged off.   
  
**MrShit:** Moon landing. Hoax. Aliens. Responsible for Stonehenge and the pyramids. 911. Inside job. JFK. Shot by the government.   
  
**PinkPanther:** okay, you're piquing my interest here. Not with that alien bullshit but the government. They're responsible for everything bad if you ask me   
  
**MrShit:** Well sure, like watergate   
  
**PinkPanther:** Exactly! Then they try to cover up, concoct bullshit stories that blame an easy scapegoat, and get away with it every single time because the American people are sheep who want to believe anything if it means they can live with their heads happily up their asses.   
  
**MrShit:** My point exactly man   
  
**ToothpickVic:** The government sucks, but don't you two think you're going a little far? I mean I just don't think the government even gives enough of a shit to set all that up anyway   
  
**CheetoOrange:** THE GOVERNMENT IS WHY I FAILED GYM IN 9TH GRADE   
  
**CheetoOrange:** Am I doing it right   
  
**ToothpickVic:** You failed gym in ninth grade because you're a scrawny little shit  
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** What did you say about my boy Blonde   
  
**ToothpickVic:** I said he was a scrawny little shit lol   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** First of all, you must be blind or at least visually impaired to not see the definition in his lithe biceps and not to mention his FOREARMS, which extend far beyond my own and most likely yours in a graceful reach of structurally perfect bone formation. Second, he don't need to be a big buff motherfucker, he makes up for it with that cute hairdo!!   
  
**MrShit:** Larry you are the embodiment of the "in this essay I will" meme   
  
**PinkPanther:** No, you are Brown   
  
**MrShit:** Oh shit true   
  
**ToothpickVic:** Still scrawny   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** well, that's just how I like ya Freddy  
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** My cute, scrawny little badass with perfect bone structure   
  
**CheetoOrange:** I don't know whether to be offended or feel good about myself at this point, so I'm just gonna sit here and :/   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** <3  
  
**NiceGuy69:** What is it, Valentine's Day in this chat??  
  
**ToothpickVic:** Yes *kissies*   
  
**NiceGuy69:** Fuck off Vic 


	9. Chapter 9

**PinkPanther:** Here   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Since all you immature bitches are obsessed with these, I've gotta meme for you Freddy   
  
 **PinkPanther:** When Larry sits down and opens his legs  
  
 **PinkPanther** has sent a photo to Reservoir Dogs: _"ItsFreeRealEstate.jpg"_  
  
 **CheetoFingers:** HAHAHA accurate   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Extremely accurate


	10. Chapter 10

**CheetoFingers:** What happened last night?   
  
 **MrShit:** We all got smashed  
  
 **CheetoFingers** : Yeah, that much I know. But what did we DO   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** We went for tacos, my treat, then we hit the bar. You did four jello shots then acted out your favourite scene from the Incredible Hulk. We all started dancing, then Blonde got up before I Will Survive came on and missed it--   
  
 **PinkPanther:** No that's not correct   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Well what's the matter with it?   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Mr. Blonde didn't leave until after I Will Survive came on   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Wrong again, assholes. I was getting my dick sucked in an alley last night by a massage therapist named Jenny   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** He's not lying, I was watching   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Then who did me and White go dancing after the shots with?!   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** I'm currently wearing your Hawaiian shirt so that may have been me too  
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** That's right it was you   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** You stuck around after the shots, and we started making out in the booth   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** We did more than make out Larry ;)    
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** So I didn't just dream you calling me daddy?   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Nope. You sure didn't. Or we woulda had the same fuckin dream.   
  
 **MrShit:** Where was I?   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Doing body shots off a swimsuit model looking chick after talking her ear off for half an hour about Taxi Driver   
  
 **MrShit:** Did I get laid?   
  
 **PinkPanther:** How should I know?   
  
 **MrShit:** I think I did. I'm also out $1000 so I think she was a hooker   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Good for you   
  
 **MrShit:** Hey was yours a hooker?   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Course not 


	11. Chapter 11

**ToothpickVic:** Hey guys guys   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Put it to KBilly's   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Why   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** It's his song.   
  
 **PinkPanther:** He's right. It's the song he tortured that cop to.   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** *sweats in gangster* 


	12. Chapter 12

**CheetoFingers:** So are we all on for Fright Fest this weekend?   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Why are you so into Halloween?   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** I like dressing up, sue me   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Ok this is the one part of this shit holiday I actually enjoy. All these haunted houses tickle my funny bone   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** So yes, I'm in  
  
 **MrShit:** Me too   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Yup   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** I'll be there. Freddy, you need a ride?   
  
 **MrShit:** Now that you mention it   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** The offer was only for Freddy  
  
 **MrShit:** That's not very nice   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Yeah what the hell man?   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Eddie Cabot you have a nicer car than I do, you fuck   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** It's the principle of the matter   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** JUST FOR FREDDY   
  
 **MrShit:** That's like taking out a pack of gum in class and only offering it to one person when the entire class has quite obviously seen it   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** hate that   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** After all my daddy does for you Larry, this is how you repay me?   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Oops my car just broke down now I can't drive anyone   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Nice try.   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** I suppose you want a ride now too   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Nah, I'm not going.   
  
 **CheetoFingers:**!!!!!  
  
 **PinkPanther:** Sorry, those things freak the shit out of me.   
  
 **ToothpickVic: Lol**  
  
 **PinkPanther:** Laugh all you want, only psychopaths enjoy that shit   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Guilty as charged   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Cmon Pink, it's a fun time!   
  
 **MrShit:** And bonding time with the guizzz   
  
 **PinkPanther:** With the jizz?   
  
 **MrShit:** That says guizzz as in guysss but pronounced with a cool lilt   
  
 **PinkPanther:**  Look, none of you can convince me to go.   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** If you don't go, you're fired.   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Fire me Eddie, I can get in on some other job.   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** If you don't go, daddy's best hit men will come for you in the night.   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** I personally volunteer my hit man brother to carry out the job   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** 90% of the time his heroin addicted ass doesn't miss  
  
 **PinkPanther:** Fuck all of you.   
  
 **MrShit:** Larry is your car actually broken   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** sigh   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** No   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Baby you're the real MVP   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** My dick is very angry with that decision right now   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Maybe I can make it feel better?   
  
 _ **CheetoFingers** sent a photo to Reservoir Dogs. _  
  
 _ **PinkPanther** has logged off. _  
  
 _ **NiceGuy69** has logged off. _  
  
 _ **ToothpickVic** has logged off. _  
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Brown get out   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** I mean it   
  
 **MrShit:** Dammit   
  
 _ **MrShit** has logged off. _


	13. Chapter 13

**CheetoFingers:** in spirit of Fright Fest tonight, what's everyone scared of?   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Your mama   
  
 **Cheetofingers:** Ok Eddie   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Fine, little dollies  
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Ew same   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Clowns.   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Funny, since you are one   
  
 **PinkPanther:** I will shove my gun so far down your esophagus Blonde, your intestines will become instant noodle soup   
  
 **MrShit:** I was gonna say Vic, but I think I'm scared of Pink now  
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** I'm scared of losing those I love, or those I love drifting apart from me.   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Why do you always gotta get so damn deep man? It was a fuckin throwaway Halloween question, not your Oprah tell all   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** He asked what I was scared of, I answered!   
  
 **MrShit:** I'm kinda scared of vampires.   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Vampires turn me on   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Oh?   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** OH   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** That's why you were so frisky after watching the Lost Boys!   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** I mean Keifer Sutherland can get it anytime   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Careful Orange, White's getting jealous   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** He shouldn't be, after what I did to him following our viewing of the Lost Boys   
  
 **MrShit:** :o 


	14. Chapter 14

_**DontFuckWithJoe** has logged on. _  
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** My god   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** Look at this mess of a chat   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Did you just read the entire chat history?   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Like, every line?   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** I skimmed it   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Oh   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** oh   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** You bunch of schoolgirls   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** This chat was supposed to be for work matters only. All it is just giggling and weird photographs with captions, whatever those are   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** I don't know what I expected   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** Anyway, everyone listen up. Tomorrow's a big job. Everybody knows their roles?    
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Aye aye captain!   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** I can't hear you all   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Aye Aye Captain!!!   
  
 **MrShit:** OOOOHHHH   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** wHo LiVeS iN a PiNeApPle UnDeR tHe SeA??   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** I'll shove a pineapple up your ass and sink you to the bottom of the sea if you don't shut up   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** I'm ready Papa   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** Real good Junior. Real good. Eddie?   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Yes daddy?   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** If you could yank your mouth off Vic's cock for a minute, you think you could be on time tomorrow?   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** I knew he read it   
  
 _ **NiceGuy69** has logged off. _  
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** Now would somebody tell me where the fuck Blue went?   
  
 **PinkPanther:** I think he forgot the password again   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Last time I was talking to him that's what he said   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** The password is pretty fucking simple   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** What is it again?   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** God dammit orange I should have you shot   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Pew   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** Just so we're clear, what's the procedure?   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Me and Blonde hold up the place   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** I'm waiting outside watching   
  
 **MrShit:** Suddenly, I flip in through the breakable glass with my kitana. Heads roll. Blood showers. It's all me. I did it. I saved Metropolis.   
  
 **MrShit:** Oops sorry. Under stress I lapse into my defense mechanism   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Which is?   
  
 **MrShit:** Compulsive role playing   
  
 **PinkPanther:** I should have passed on this fucking job 


	15. Chapter 15

**PinkPanther:** Jesus was that a fucking set up or what?!   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Where are you guys? Why aren't you at the rendezvous??   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** I just talked to daddy, I'm on my way   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** itshd wavd blodns fzuilt   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** I'm sorry, why does that look like you just mashed your face into your phone?   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** He's bleeding, he can barely stay awake   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Shit, orange got tagged?   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** yeup   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** So you're saying orange that it was all because of blonde that this went wrong?   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** yesxms   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** I don't buy it. That's my boyfriend you're talking about, and I don't buy it.   
  
 **ToothpickVic:** Eddie relax, you're losing it   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** I will not relax Victor! Btw what the fuck was that shooting spree??   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Yeah!   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** Start talking asshole!   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** DON'T YOU LEAVE US ON READ BLONDE  
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe** has logged on.   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** This little piece of shit... **@CheetoFingers**    
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** did you just @ my boy and call him a piece of shit?   
  
 **DontFuckWithJoe:** Yes, cause he is! I known Blonde a long time, wasn't him. Now you're gonna get yourself blocked Orange   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** You block Freddy you get blocked next.   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Have you lost your fuckin mind?   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** I don't know what you think you know Joe, but Freddy got shot for us   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Dammit Larry if you block my dad from this chat I will not hesitate to block you   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD:** God damn you Joe. It had nothing to do with him. Don't do it.   
  
 **CheetoFingers:** Larryyyyy   
  
 _ **CheetoFingers** has been blocked by **DontFuckWithJoe.**  _  
  
 _ **DontFuckWithJoe** has been blocked by **LarrysGotTheD.**  _  
  
 _ **LarrysGotTheD** has been blocked by **NiceGuy69.**_  
  
 _ **NiceGuy69** has been blocked. _  
  
 **MrShit:** *crickets*   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Hello?   
  
 **PinkPanther:** Is there anybody left in this godforsaken chat now except me and this nerd?   
  
 **Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367** has logged on.   
  
 **Im-Mr-Blue-0001234367:** HI THERE FELLAS! WHAT A CRAZY CAPER TODAY EH?   
  
 _ **PinkPanther** has logged off. _  
  
 **MrShit:** It sure was, Mr. Blue. It sure was 


	16. Chapter 16

**DontFuckWithJoe:** How's the kid doing?   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Freddy's not great, but he can move his legs again, and his face doesn't look so pale   
  
**DontFuckWithJoe:** Where is he?   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Over at mine   
  
**DontFuckWithJoe:** I'm real sorry about all that blocking business yesterday. I was just mad because the caper went sideways   
  
**DontFuckWithJoe:** I don't blame any of you boys for it   
  
**DontFuckWithJoe:** It's the goddamn cops   
  
**MrShit:** Did you see that one blue boy trying to tag me while we drove off? That reminded me of the time I went to Disneyland with my cousin, and my foot got stuck on the conveyor belt in the Haunted Mansion  
  
**PinkPanther:** This is not the time for a Mr. Brown Story™  
  
**MrShit:** :,(   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** It's okay Joe. Freddy's a little shaken from getting blocked, but he'll be fine   
  
**NiceGuy69** has logged on.   
  
**NiceGuy69:** Hey fellas. Sorry Larry.   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** No problem Eddie, I understand   
  
**MrShit:** Kumbayaaaa my lord Kumbayaaaa   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Brown you ruin everything 

 **MrShit:** You sound like my dad Larry

 _ **CheetoFingers** has logged on._  
  
**CheetoFingers:** Hey guys I'm back   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** You should be resting, not on your phone   
  
**CheetoFingers:** Aw Larry, I'm okay xo   
  
**ToothpickVic** has logged on.   
  
**ToothpickVic:** Hey   
  
**ToothpickVic:** Guess what I did yesterday   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Pulled a job like the rest of us, asshole?   
  
**ToothpickVic:** Why are you calling me an asshole?   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** You're the reason Freddy was so worked up! He was convinced it was you who turned on us   
  
**ToothpickVic:** I turn everybody on   
  
**PinkPanther:** "turned ON us", learn to fucking read.   
  
**ToothpickVic:** Excuse me   
  
**PinkPanther:** I didn't

 **PinkPanther:** mean that.  
  
**ToothpickVic:** Anyway couldn't have been me, I was at taco bell   
  
**ToothpickVic:** but I kidnapped a blue boy and tortured him   
  
**PinkPanther:** We're aware   
  
**ToothpickVic:** And my song came on!   
  
**PinkPanther:** Amazing   
  
**MrShit:** What song?   
  
**ToothpickVic:** Stuck in the middle   
  
**MrShit:** Oh god there's this line in that song that's like "I'm so scared I guess I'll fall off my chair" and it's like why would someone just willingly do that?   
  
_**CheetoFingers** has logged off. _  
  
**ToothpickVic:** No he says "In case I'll fall off my chair"   
  
_**PinkPanther** has logged off. _  
  
**MrShit:** Nuh uh cause that would be like saying I'm gonna die in case I eat this cake, it's like broken English and I'm pretty sure Stealer's Wheel was American   
  
_**LarrysGotTheD** has logged off. _  
  
**ToothpickVic:** Even so, "I guess I'll" doesn't make sense because again, why would he choose to do that?   
  
_**NiceGuy69** has logged off. _  
  
**MrShit:** it's fucking idiotic to think that the guy is saying "I'm gonna do this in case something happens" it's like affirming what he's gonna do then going back on it and saying "oh but just in case" that doesn't make sense!!!   
  
_**ToothpickVic** has logged off. _  
  
**MrShit:** Do you see the fucking point I'm trying to make man?   
  
**MrShit:** Hello?   
  
**MrShit:** Dammit 


	17. Chapter 17

**MrShit:** Alright movie night at mine   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** What are we watching this time   
  
**LarrysGotTheD:** Not another Scorsese   
  
**MrShit:** It's October so Halloween 3, season of the witch   
  
**ToothpickVic:** Why are we watching that when we could be watching good old Halloween 1?   
  
**NiceGuy69:** I'm with Vic, that's a shitty movie Brown   
  
**MrShit:** No no, it's not though! It's only shitty in your mind because of the Halloween name. If they had only marketed it as its own movie independent from the franchise, it would have become the cult classic it deserves to be.   
  
**MrShit:** The only reason it WAS marketed that way was cause John Carpenter originally intended Halloween to be an anthology   
  
**PinkPanther:** Who's John Carpenter?    
  
_**MrShit** has blocked **PinkPanther** from Reservoir Dogs. _  
  
**NiceGuy69:** HEY   
  
**NiceGuy69:** What did I say about that?!   
  
_**PinkPanther**  has been unblocked by **NiceGuy69.**  _  
  
**PinkPanther:** ASSHOLE   
  
**MrShit:** You deserved it you uncultured swine   
  
**CheetoFingers:** yo I mean Halloween 3 is a bad movie but   
  
**CheetoFingers:** Happy happy Halloween, halloween, halloween, happy happy halloween SILVER SHAMROCK   
  
**MrShit:** I'm gonna let you get away with your wrong opinion, just because you know the jingle   
  
**ToothpickVic:** Fucking nerds   
  
**ToothpickVic:** If you're gonna learn a dumb jingle, learn Red Apple's so I won't forget all the time to buy more   
  
**CheetoFingers:** Red Apple cigarettes, get em from the stoooore, smoke em all for best effect, then go and get some moooore   
  
**MrShit:** Woah   
  
**MrShit:** I have so much respect for you right now Freddy   
  
**MrShit:** Anyway, all of you motherfuckers better be at my place at 6PM sharp for the movie or I'll bail you all out to the cops   
  
**NiceGuy69:** Excuse me?   
  
**MrShit:** It's a figure of speech 


	18. Chapter 18

**LarrysGotTheD** : Well, it's almost Christmas, and my car just got totaled by some prick in a cream coloured vintage.  Season's Greetings and a big fuck you to the world

 **CheetoFingers:** And whoever hit your car

 **LarrysGotTheD** : You said it.   
  
 **CheetoFingers** : At least you made it to my apartment last night in one piece ;) Deck the halls w bows of jolly falallalalalalalalalalala  
  
 **MrShit** : It's holly   
  
 **CheetoFingers** : Well excuse me for not being the world's biggest deck the halls fan  
  
 **LarrysGotTheD** : Get off his back Brown   
  
 **MrShit** : Alert! Alert! Larry's gone into protective boyfriend mode   
  
 **PinkPanther** : It's a daily occurrence. 

 **CheetoFingers** : I want a speed racer shirt for Christmas 

 **LarrysGotTheD** : You have one.

 **CheetoFingers** : Your washing machine ate it. 

 **LarrysGotTheD:** Okay, I owe you a new one. Right after I fix my destroyed fucking camaro. 

 **ToothpickVic** : What's got your panties in a twist, White?

 **LarrysGotTheD** : Are you blind? MY CAR GOT WRECKED YOU FUCK.

 **ToothpickVic** : Oh. That was yours I hit? 

 **LarrysGotTheD** has logged off.

 **ToothpickVic** has logged off.   
  
 **MrShit** : Hey hey guys   
  
 **MrShit** : Jingle Bells, Eddie smells, Victor got him laid. Larry crashed then Freddy smashed and Pinkie got away (with le diamonds)   
  
 **NiceGuy69** : I'm gonna let that slide, just because it's Christmas 

 **ToothpickVic**  has logged on. 

 **MrShit:** I always knew you'd win in a shootout 

 **LarrysGotTheD** has logged on.

 **MrShit:** Oh

 **CheetoFingers** : Yay christmas   
  
 **PinkPanther** : Fuck all that   
  
 **ToothpickVic** : Of course you'd be the grinch out of us all   
  
 **PinkPanther** : I'm not a Grinch, Christmas just isn't my favorite holiday, fuck off!  
  
 **CheetoFingers** : You hated Halloween too, and that's the one that matters   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD** : I'm more for Christmas than Halloween, but the kid's right   
  
 **CheetoFingers** : Halloween is gay Christmas Lar-bear   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD** : Right   
  
 **PinkPanther** : Look I don't like holidays in general, okay!  
  
 **NiceGuy69** : You don't like anything fun in general.  
  
 **PinkPanther** : Holidays are unnecessary celebration for things that really shouldn't be celebrated   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD** : What, like the birth of Jesus?   
  
 **ToothpickVic** : Well to be honest, it's not really about that anymore. It's more about trees and stuff   
  
 **PinkPanther** : Great, a holiday worshiping trees. Sounds like my kind of gig.    
  
 **MrShit** : I think Pink's never had a real Christmas before so he's being a scrooge about it   
  
 **ToothpickVic** : oh I see, mommy never put up any decorations so now you feel deprived of the christmas spirit?   
  
 **PinkPanther** : Fuck all of you, I'm logging off   
  
 **NiceGuy69** : That's not very nice. Here, daddy's having a holiday get together at the mansion, we've got eggnog, champagne, all the good stuff   
  
 **CheetoFingers** : Got a fireplace?   
  
 **NiceGuy69** : Sure, why?   
  
 **CheetoFingers** : For Santa, numbnuts   
  
 **NiceGuy69** : Excuse me, how could I have forgotten   
  
 **NiceGuy69** : Hey **@MrShit** I bet you believe in the fat man too, don't you   
  
 **MrShit** : It's scientifically impossible, so no. I do believe that the idea of Santa was created to hide the fact that every christmas eve, bots dressed in red infiltrate your house for the sole purpose of keeping the masses contented   
  
 **MrShit** : To prevent any new years uprisings, of course   
  
 **NiceGuy69** : Naturally.  
  
 **MrShit** : Eddie, has your dad got a TV?   
  
 **NiceGuy69:** Like 4, why??   
  
 **MrShit** : Pink needs to see Home Alone   
  
 **PinkPanther** : Everyone goes on about it, what is it?  
  
 **ToothpickVic** : Great movie. The kid's a little psycho, he was my inspiration as a child   
  
 **NiceGuy69** : Oh lol, so how close were you to using the paint can trap on that cop Vic?   
  
 **ToothpickVic** : You got no idea hun   
  
 **MrShit** : Yknow Kevin's dad is a mob boss   
  
 **LarrysGotTheD** : Off he goes.  
  
 **MrShit** : I mean how else could he afford such _lavish_ trips?!!!!  
  
 **MrShit** : Also, the wet bandits are Christmas spirits, sent to remind Kevin of why family is so important.   
  
 **ToothpickVic** : Or they could have just left their kid at home and were robbed by, yknow, not ghosts  
  
 **MrShit** : Nah I systematically reject the intended message, you should know this by now   
  
 **NiceGuy69** : Alright the intended message is all of you get your asses over to daddy's place before I send bots dressed in red to drag you over   
  
 **NiceGuy69** : That includes you Pinkie  
  
 **PinkPanther** : Fine. But don't expect me to like it.   
  
 **CheetoFingers** : When Pink says he don't like Christmas   
  
 **CheetoFingers** sent a photo to the group: _"whiteguyblinking.jpg"_  
  
 **MrShit** : lol 

 **PinkPanther** : A bit stale now, Orange 

 **CheetoFingers** : Fuck you 


End file.
